Suddenly, in November, in the middle of a global pandemic, she returned, announcing the launch of a new “alternative lifestyle” column, BEAUTYSHAMBLES (a play on Pete Doughtery’s band Babyshambles), on Patreon. I couldn’t forget her musings on privilege, unhealthy compulsions and narcissistic men, even when she seemingly disappeared from the map after the buzz of HTMYL had waned. In 2019, she published an audiobook, Self-Tanner for the Soul: How I Ran Away to Europe and Found My Inner Glow (When Life Got Dark), which explained her time under the radar. Endearingly hilarious and matter-of-factly honest about the horrors of addiction, Marnell’s writing firmly lodged itself in my mind. Everyone, myself included, has a morbid fascination with the dark underbelly of addiction that success often hides, and romanticizes. A story that balances just the right amounts of grit and glamour, Marnell’s story is a riveting one. When How to Murder Your Life was finally released in early 2017, I finished the memoir in two days, tops.
That bookmark has sat in a catchall on my nightstand for the past four years. Though I didn’t spend enough money to earn a galley of Marnell’s book from the owner of the store, Osvaldo Jimenez (whose name appears in several chapters), I did receive a hospital bracelet-shaped bookmark teasing its release. A fan of Marnell’s circa 2011, when she joined Jane Pratt’s now-defunct xoJane as the website’s resident “ unhealthy health writer,” 20-year-old me was thrilled to snag Marnell’s hand-me-downs including a leopard print Dolce & Gabbana camisole with extra-long straps that always fell down, a sheer Prada top that snapped up the side and a vintage button down printed with yellow and blue clouds.
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